Weakling
by Dreadful Virtue
Summary: My version of Zaraki Kenpachi's past. Further information inside.
1. WEAKLING Information

**WEAKLING**

Finally deciding how to start the piece that I have planned now for months I am happy to introduce it to you.

**Fandom:** Bleach

**Pairing:** others x Zaraki Kenpachi

This fanfiction IS mainly about Kenpachi's past – no focus on any pairing.

**Timeline:** The parts while Zaraki is remembering will play AFTER the SS Arc, shortly before the HM Arc starts. Zaraki's past will play in different timelines, but no dates are really fixed. I doubt that Kenpachi knows his real age and I also doubt that Shinigami keep track how old they really are, as they age differently AND get very old.

**Warning:** This is more or less AU. I have taken all the facts we read in the Bleach manga and wrote my own version of his past.

I also don't accept flames because of the plot/my opinion how things could be.

I'd be VERY happy if I get C&C. You have every right to inform me that I have a bad writing style and what you suggest I could do better. I'd even welcome it!

This fanfiction will also have: forced minor sex [will be marked, so people who are disgusted by it have to chance to not read it], rude language, cursing, violence and death. We all have already seen that Kenpachi's past sure was no happy-go-lucky-world; so I also won't describe it as such.

English is not my mother tongue. I am still studying it.

**Disclaimer: **Neither Bleach nor the sexy characters in it belong to me. They all belong to lucky Tite Kubo. Only the idea of this fanficition and some characters [NO Mary-Sues!] belong to me. And, as sad as it is, I don't gain any money with this piece.

Thank you all for your attention!


	2. To become a nobody

**Title: **Weakling: Chapter 1 – To become a Nobody

**Fandom: **Bleach

**Pairing:** others x Zaraki Kenpachi. This chapter: Aikido Sazare x Reichin Sazare; Yachiru Yamagi x Reichin Sazare implied

**Rating: **NC-17. This Chapter: PG-13

**Disclaimer: **Neither Bleach nor the sexy characters in it belong to me. They all belong to lucky Tite Kubo. Only the idea of this fanficition and some characters [NO Mary-Sues!] belong to me. And, as sad as it is, I don't gain any money with this piece.

**Warning: **

Read information.

* * *

**To become a Nobody**

It was a sunny April morning – not too hot, not too cold. A slight breeze was blowing, birds were twitting and insects were buzzing in the air.

In the middle of a small forest a big manor, built in the traditional Japanese way, was making up the centre of the Northern Japanese Border.

Branches were fanning around the building, a small river running by its side.

"Lady Sazare."

A small, petite woman walked up to her master. Her shoulder-length black hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail. Some stands freed themselves and were fanning her pale face. She had pouty red lips, a small nose and her most striking feature, blazing green eyes. They showed her inner strength, that she should not be underestimated.

The lady of the family put the small bundle in her arms back in the cradle and turned around to look at the woman.

She was tall, taller than any woman the loyal servant has ever laid eyes on. Her figure was thin, almost skeletal, but the petite woman was not fooled; she knew what the other one could do, what power she had in her body. Her skin was also pale, her face long with high cheekbones. Long black hair was hanging loosely down to her hips. Golden-green eyes were blazing with an inner fire, with strength, power and a strong fighting spirit.

"What is it, Yachiru?" the tall woman almost purred.

The servant bowed lightly and took a step forward.

"Yataka-san is here to see you, my Lady. He is waiting in the dining hall."

"Thank you, Yachiru." The woman said and walked past the smaller woman, "Would you please watch Hiko-chan while I am gone?" She turned around slightly and smiled at her servant. "He loves you. I am sure he'd like to spend some time with you."

"Ah." Yachiru blushed. "I'd love to spend some time with him too." She replied honestly and walked up to the cradle.

Sazare only nodded and walked to the man awaiting her.

* * *

"Yataka-san." The lady greeted the older man as she entered and bowed slightly. "Hiei-san and..." she glanced questionably at the brown-haired man beside them.

"Sazare-sama." Both men said and bowed slightly too. "We are glad you could welcome us in such a short notice. We apologize for not giving you a warning before. This would be Kyou-san. He just got his position as my head-secretary and as Sasakibe and I had business to attend here we decided to take him along and show him our borders, especially because Yumi-san is otherwise occupied." Then the leader of the Guards, who were keeping watch at their border, turned to the man beside him. "Kyou-san. This is Reichin Sazare, guardian of our Northern borders."

"Sazare-sama." The man said silkily and bowed.

"Kyou-san." The woman nodded, mustering the male. Something about him was bothering her, but she just could not point out what it could be.

"Well, we should not waste any more time. I fear I come with bad news." The old man started.

"Yes, I think I know what brings you here." The woman replied and then glanced at the chairs. "Let's sit down and discuss this matter."

Without further ado all of them sat down on the chairs, the three males opposite of the female.

"Well then, let's start."

"But..."

"Kyou-san?"

"I am sorry. Should we not wait for the Lord of the house?"

Yataka and Hiei exchanged glances and chuckled.

"Why should we wait for the Lord?" he asked the younger male.

"Well..." he looked at the woman. "I apologize and do not want to sound rude Sazare-sama, but should such matters not be discussed with the Lord of the family, instead of with his wife?"

A loud, barking laugher escaped the woman's lips. She shook her head and then looked at the man at Yataka's left again.

"Do not fear Kyou-san. You will not need a Lord."

"What..."

"I apologize to both of you." The old man interrupted them. "I should have explained everything to Kyou-san before arriving here."

"Well, maybe you should do so now? To help erase his confusion."

The old man closed his eyes for a second, sighed and sat back in his chair.

"Yataka-sa..."

"No Hiei." The man said to his friend. "It is ok."

Then the leader turned to the younger man, who was looking at them questionably.

"Back, at the beginning, Kami-sama chose four families to protect our borders."

"What?"

"Please, if you want to know, do not interrupt me."

"I apologize."

"These families have been responsible to watch after the borders. So far nobody has managed to come into our territory. "

The young man sat back pondering. "Yes..." he started "Yes I already know that."

"Of course you did." Hiei said silkily. "It is something you hear on your first day in the Academy. For we are are not only responsible for the paperwork, but have to take actions once we are needed to do so."

"But..." the brown haired one started once more, looking again at the woman, who was watching him intensely. "It does not explain why we talk with her and not with the Lord."

"She IS the Lord." Yataka-san explained. "From beginning on the Sazare-family was lead by females and females only. And if it happens that there are only males in one generation, as it is now the case, the youngest will take over."

"What do you mean?"

"I have a loving husband." Reichin started slowly. "And three wonderful sons. My two oldest boys are already 20, and a father's and mother's pride. We tried once more to get a daughter, but Kami-sama decided against it. I know, I feel, that I am not able to give birth to another child. I do not have the power anymore. If this happens in my family, then the youngest child will be raised like his mother was and take over the reigns."

"A boy is raised like a girl?"

The woman laughed and soon Yataka joined her.

"My boy." He said and clasped his shoulder. "Never think the Sazare females are petite women. I would not want to fight against Reichin here, for I know she would beat my ass some terrible. The young boy would be introduced to the finer ceremonies of a family household, but he too would be able to fight and to protect. He would not simply be raised like a girl."

"And if he marries, his wife would take over?"

"Of course not. He will stay the ruler. Not matter if he marries a female or a male."

"WHAT?" Kyou shouted, before he placed a hand over his mouth and took a deep breath. "I apologize. But Sazare-sama that..." he shook his head. "Men cannot give birth?"

"They adopt. And one of these adopted children would be a girl, who carries on our name."

"But they are not family anymore!"

"My dear boy." She growled and leaned forwards, glaring at him with her burning gaze. "Family means so much more than just bonded by blood. Family are the people who protect you, who watch out for you and who are always by your side. They are not always the people, who share the same blood with you. Even Kami-sama knows that."

"I think... I have overstepped my line once more."

"Yes, yes you have."

Just as Kyou wanted to apologize once more he was interrupted by a man entering the hall.

"Love. The boys and I are back from... oh I see we have guests." The man said and turned to them. "Greetings to you, Guards." He welcomed them and bowed.

The new head-secretary gaped. The man was a giant with hard muscles, spiky blond hair and warm brown orbs. Sazare-sama was already taller than he was, she reached two meters without a doubt, but this man was surely twice his size! But he was not the only one. Once he stepped aside he made room for two more men who looked just like him.

"Kyou-san." The lady said and stood up. "Let me introduce you to my husband Aikido Sazare and my two boys Yaten and Heiji."

"My Love." The man said, opened his arms wide and embraced his wife, completely ignoring Kyou. "Good to see you again."

She chuckled, but embraced him back. "You were only gone for hours."

"But I missed you so much, my Beautiful. "

Now the woman, who seemed so strict at first, openly laughed and slapped his arm. "Very funny."

"Oh, but I do not joke. And where is my pretty baby-boy?"

"Yachiru is watching him while I am talking with these men." She answered and nodded at the Guards.

"Oh, I apologize. I have forgotten you. Well," he turned to his wife again. "I shall go and swoon over him instead." He announced and left the room as fast as he entered it.

The two young blonds smiled after him, then nodded at their mother and also left.

"I apologize, I think they just came back from hunting." She said and sat back down.

Yataka waved her off and smiled. "It is fine, my Lady. But what about your youngest. Are we not allowed to see him?"

She chuckled. "I know my husband. I am sure he will soon appear again, showing off his pride. So fear not Guards, you will see the new heir soon."

The old man smiled shortly then his expression darkened. "You said you think you know why we are here?"

The woman sighed, a dark expression also gracing her face. "We families have no ill feelings towards each other, we respect each other, yet we do not keep in touch." She sighed. "But gossip is unavoidable." She sighed once more. "I have heard that... that the other three families have been... killed."

The Guard-leader rubbed his face. "Somebody must have heard about us. Somebody must be after that power. Somebody is killing off the family members. That somebody is somebody among us."

Hiei moved around uneasily in his chair, while Kyou gasped.

"But... how can you be sure it is somebody of us?"

"Nobody could kill them off so quietly – all of them. The families must have known that somebody and trusted them."

"True." The man said and sighed.

The woman leaned back in her chair, elbows crossed in front of her chest, a scowl on her face. "Why are you here, Yataka-san?" She sighed. "I know we are the last family. We will fight this murderer, be it somebody of our family or not. But what do you want, old man?"

"I want to inform you, that we are watching you closely now. This is also another reason why I introduced you to Kyou-san. I wanted you to meet the person with whom you will work together now."

As soon as Yataka said that name she glanced from him to Kyou and mustered the brown haired man once more. Then she growled and stood up, slamming her hands on the table.

"I will NOT work together with him!" she shouted and pointed at the man.

The three Guards were shocked at such behavior and leaned back, as if it could save them from the wrath of this woman.

"But why not? Is something the matter, Sazare-sama?" Hiei spoke up.

"Yes, yes there is." She growled and pierced Kyou with her glare. "You may be fond of him and his skills, but I do not trust him." Reichin moved her face back at their leader. "There is something wrong with this one, Yataka-san." She whispered, almost pleading for the man to not make such a mistake.

"I assure you, Sazare-sama, there is nothing wrong with me." The head-secretary purred.

"He is right." Yataka said in a demanding voice. "The man is skilled and loyal. My decision is final."

The woman stood up at her full height, eyes blazing with fire. "Leave my home, Yataka."

The old man stood up too. "Reichin, please under..."

"No." She said coldly. "I do not talk with old fools. I know about your business so do not doubt my faith in you, old man, but this time..." she shook her head. "This time you are blinded. Leave."

The man nodded then glanced at Hiei and Kyou before leaving. The two men followed.

The woman sighed defeated and sat down on the table, face in her hands. She suddenly felt so drained. What should she do now? Oh, she was sure the old man would carry out his plan the way he sees it right. Why has she reacted like that? She didn't know. There was something in the man's eyes, something she just couldn't trust. She was confused – why did Yataka not see it too? She shook her head and stepped onto the floor. Quickly she moved her kimono in place again and then decided to see her family. It would do her some good to see them now.

* * *

As she walked down the corridor she could make out a figure at the other end. Reichin smiled.

"Yachiru." She said softly. Her most loyal servant and best friend. They had been together since they were young girls, hunting, fighting ...living. She smiled. Her friend had such a petite body, but inside her was the strength of a lion. Oh how the boys suffered who underestimated her. She was a true warrior.

"Ah Sazare-sama." The woman said and turned around, a bright smile on her face, which quickly vanished. "Is something the matter?"

"Why?" Reichin said and stopped in front of the other, swallowing down a chuckle as she once more was reminded just how small the other one was; only reaching her hips.

"You look very drained." The smaller one said concerned and touched the other's upper arm comfortingly.

The tall woman sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"Bad things are happening... three other families have already been murdered..."

"I have heard so." Yachiru said worried. She hated that thought. She knew that the Sazare family would fight, but still... the other families were no weaklings, yet they have been killed. The small one didn't even want to think about what could happen to Reichin, Hiko and the others. It was horrible.

"Yachiru..." Reichin interrupted her friend's worries. "May I ask you for something?"

"O... Of course!" she answered and nodded encouragingly.

The master of the family smiled once more and placed a hand on the other's shoulder. "If something happens." She swallowed. "If they come, then I will stand my place, for I am the Head of this house."

"And I will stand by your side." The smaller woman said.

"No."

"Bu..."

"No Yachiru. I know you fight and I know you want to help us. But please." She looked at the other with pleading eyes. "Please, if they come, as soon as they are here, run. Do not pick a fight, run into Hiko's room and flee. Flee with my precious."

"Bu..."

"He." She interrupted the other. "Is my biggest treasure. I want him to live. I want him to enjoy life. This is my last wish to you Yachiru. I want you to go to his room, take him and run away. I want you to hide, I want you to change his name, I want you to... never tell him about us."

"But Reichin! I can't do that to any of you!" the woman shouted desperately, tears forming in her eyes. "We will fight and we will win! I don't want to take him from his family! I don't want to keep you a secret. It is unfair to both of you."

"Don't." The tall woman swallowed. "Don't be so childish Yachiru. You make it hard for me." She sighed. "When the murderer comes we won't make it easy for him. But in the end we don't know what to expect. There must be something about this person in order to beat the others. You must save my son and in order to do so you must keep everything about him a secret. He shall never know. Please Yachiru, please promise me."

Yachiru nodded slowly then looked up at her friend again.

"I promise you."

"Thank you." Reichin said then clasped her friend's hand in hers and kissed her palms. "Well..." she stood up to her full height again. "I shall go and see my family. Until later." She said softly.

Yachiru watched her friend walk away, holding back a sob that wanted to escape her throat. Life – life was never fair.

* * *

Reichin leaned against the doorpost as she watched her husband with her youngest son. The man was currently holding the small babe over his head, making the small boy squeal and giggle in joy.

"Just don't let him fall." She said softly and slowly walked over to them.

"Ah Love." He said and turned to his wife, kissing her forehead and holding the boy to his chest. "Do we not have a pretty boy?"

She leaned against him and together they looked down at the small form, still laughing in his father's arms. "Yes. Yes we have." She whispered and stroked over his cheek.

"He looks just like you." Her husband whispered; wonder in his voice then he chuckled. "He will be a strong warrior. He will scare his opponents away and lead our army with heart and loyalty."

"Yes, he will."

She will miss him so much. She would have loved to see him grow, to know about his fears and dreams. Oh Kami-sama, she will miss him.

* * *

Flames were licking up the walls and furniture, bloody corpses were covering the floor, yet no single scream was heard. They did not fear death, none of them. Family Sazare had always been known for their will to fight, for facing death honourably. They would not scream, they would not beg, they would fight their enemy face to face.

Growling Reichin tried to get up. Something has hit her from behind, which made her fall on the floor. If she didn't know it any better she would say it was a spell. She slammed her fist against the hard wood under her. Yataka's and her fears have been confirmed – somebody among them was the murderer.

"And not only one." She growled and looked around. "They are more than one."

Just as she was ready to get up she could make out a silhouette approaching her. Curiously she squinted her eyes – she knew that figure from somewhere.

"Sazare-sama. How good to see you again." The voice purred.

"Kami-sama!" Surprised the woman sat up; a shocked expression on her face. "Kyou-san"

"I am very honoured to see that you still know my name, Sazare-sama." The man said silkily and stepped in front of her.

She growled and stood up, would not give him the leverage to stand taller than her.

"Of course I remember you." She said calmly. "But..."

"But what?" Kyou asked, a small smirk playing around his lips as he looked up at the tall, proud Head of the Sazare Family.

"But I am sure that you are not here to help us." Reichin said truthfully.

A small, non-humoured laugh escaped the traitor's lips.

"You know, dear Lady. You are not as blind as the old man."

She held her sword tighter in her palms; she wouldn't get caught up in small talk now.

Of course he noticed that movement. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well now, please do answer me where your baby is located."

"What?" the woman asked perplexed.

Aizen's smirk became wider.

"Oh but Sazare-sama. By now I have killed your loving husband and honourable sons. Only you and your baby are left. I did already look for him, but he was nowhere to be seen. So please, do not make it more difficult than it should be, where is your heir?"

Reichin breathed out and shortly closed her eyes. Yachiru. The woman must have managed to get to her baby in time and run with him. Now everything was fine. She would go to her family, see them again; they would not be parted for long. And her lovely baby will take revenge for them. He will become strong.

A wide grin spread on her lips. "Sorry Kyou boy." She coned. "My baby is gone. He is safe. You will not find him, but he..." she openly laughed now. "He will find you!"

By now the traitor had lost the last bit of his patience. For years he has been hunting all the family members of these four families and now this woman makes it hard for him.

"Then you are no use to me anymore." He said coldly and brought his sword in front of himself.

The woman didn't say anything anymore. She too held her sword in front of her and then ran towards the man who destroyed everything for her. Who killed her husband. Who killed her sons. At least she would go down in a fight. Just as she reached him she felt a sharp pain in her back.

"What..." she whispered, blood running down her thin lips.

The figure she has pierced smirked; the one behind her chuckled.

It became harder and harder to breath, black spots dancing in front of her eyes. She looked down on herself, the sharp end of a sword appearing out from her chest.

"I do have to be honest, I am impressed by you." The serpent voice of Kyou whispered as he walked behind her and leaned against her back; one hand holding the sword hilt the other he placed around her waist, while the other attack stepped to the side. "But none the less, you have to make room for the greater good." He continued, then removed his tool and let her fall to the floor.

With her last strength the woman turned around, looking up at her murderer. "You are..." she coughed up blood. "Nothing more than a coward." She said, almost disappointed. She breathed out deeply and closed her eyes. The tall lean body relaxed one last time then her spirit left this world.

"It does not matter." Kyou said coldly, watching the beautiful corpse laying at his feet. "For I win in the end."

Then he turned to the man beside him. "Yagami."

"What should we do now?"

"We have to find the boy; even if it takes forever."

* * *

She ran and ran and ran. As soon as she heard the first bodies hit the ground she ran to the boy's room, took the small human bundle carefully in her arms and left the mansion, before the murderer could get further.

And now she ran, her lungs already aching. She did not dare to turn back though; she feared what she would see.

Once she decided she was far enough away she knelt on the ground and took deep breathes. After she has calmed down enough she looked down at the small babe.

He looked up at her with curious eyes, tiny hands trying to touch her.

"Everything will be alright, Hiko-chan." She whispered soothingly then she shook her head. She can't call him that anymore.

From this moment on he won't have a name anymore. He will become a nobody and she... she will love him like she loved his mother.


	3. You will always be a Weakling

**Title: **Weakling: Chapter 2 – You will always be a Weakling

**Fandom: **Bleach

**Pairing:** others x Zaraki Kenpachi.

**Rating: **NC-17. This Chapter: NC-17

**Warning:** Rape [also forced minor sex], gore and death

**Disclaimer: **Neither Bleach nor the sexy characters in it belong to me. They all belong to lucky Tite Kubo. Only the idea of this fanficition and some characters [NO Mary-Sues!] belong to me. And, as sad as it is, I don't gain any money with this piece.

* * *

**You will always be a Weakling**

He sat up abruptly, taking in deep breathes, looking around frightenly – making sure he was still in his room and not back… there. Indeed, he took in another shaky breath, he was here, he gripped his fur blankets tightly, here in Sereitei – this time out of his free will.

Zaraki sighed and laid back down.

He had them often, these nightmares. Although, they weren't really nightmares – he merely remembered. Always remembered who and what he truly was...

The tall man rubbed his forehead. Like always he won't be able to go back to sleep – the images were still too fresh in his mind. Slowly he pushed the fur blankets away and sat up. After taking another deep breath he got out of bed, pulled his sleeping kimono tighter around himself and went to his desk. He sat down heavily and looked out of the window for some minutes before he shook his head and turned his attention to the paperwork on his desk.

Hours later.

He was slowly dozing off when he suddenly heard footsteps outside – light and fast. Quickly he got up, threw his paperwork on a pile and dove under his blankets, pretending to be asleep. Not one second too late.

His door was shoved open and a quirky girl jumped onto his back.

"KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! GET UP!"

She gripped his hair and shoved his head further into the pillow.

"RISE AND SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEEEEE! THE SUN IS UP!"

He groaned and leaned up on his elbows.

"I'm up, I'm up" he murmured and sat up straight – making her fall onto his lap. She giggled happily and looked up at him – suddenly a frown touched her face.

"Ya alright Ken-chan?"

"Huh?" he said and scratched the back of his head. "Watcha mean?"

She shook her head and said nothing – the smile back in place. "Let's go have breakfast and then train." she chirped and jumped off the bed.

He followed her lead and stretched once he was up.

"Nah. Ya can go and have breakfast. Gotta fix my hair. We can meet on the training ground." He muttered and went to his bathroom.

"Nuuu Ken-chan. You'll get all scrawny if you never eat breakfast."

He simply waved her off. "I'm a big boy. There ain't anything wrong with me." He said and closed the door behind him.

With the frown back in place she watched the door for a moment. He always behaved like that. Pretending to tell her everything and in the end... he dealt with things himself. The little girl sighed and shook her head. It wouldn't change anything if she worried now. If he wants to pretend she would too, but he should slowly understand that she was not naive anymore. Slowly she made her way to the kitchen.

* * *

He stifled back a yawn.

After he was done with his hair and had a little workout with his people he was called to a Captain Meeting. He'd love to be anywhere else but here. He had no fucking clue what the old fart was talking about and to be honest – he couldn't care less. Just some other useless fools they had to chase down – not strong enough for him. These hollows? Only interesting when there were many, otherwise they also only bored him. Another yawn he had to hold back. It was time for his afternoon nap, or else he'd be all cranky for the rest of the day. It happened when he didn't get at least some sleep. The old man still was nowhere near the end though. He could strangle him.

He almost drove out of his skin when suddenly somebody tipped his side. He took a glance to his left and noticed Shunsui smirking at him. He smirked back. That old fool was probably just as bored as he was and like him wanted out of here. Well... he wouldn't mind helping. Carefully he took a step backwards and then some steps to his left – trying to not disturb Hitsugaya; Tousen was luckily not here anymore to announce them all how he was misbehaving again... – and tipped Shunsui's side before quickly moving back to his place. The 8th's captain's smirk turned wider – Yamamoto was undisturbed. It did not stop them. Quickly the older man took a step back, stepped to his right and poked the other's side this time. Zaraki bit back a smile before he did the same again. They got faster and faster – poking each other everywhere, when suddenly a loud noise was heard – Yamamoto had hit his staff against the floor, the others were watching them.

"Is there a problem?" the old man asked smoothly and raised one of his eyebrows.

"Umm... we are bored?" That was one thing he liked about Shunsui – always being honest.

"You will stop this nonsense this instant. Move back to your places and listen, or do I have to make you stand in different corners like misbehaving schoolboys?"

"Only if you give us fitting schoolgirl outfits." The 8th captain said and chuckled.

"Oh kami" the 12th Captain moved his hand against his forehead. "What a horrible image."

"He is right." Came Soi Fon's cold reply, while she glanced at them. "That image..."

"You hear that Zaraki? They say we would look bad!" Shunsui said in a played dramatic voice. "Well it is a tad bit cold for wearing short dresses, but I am sure somebody would warm us up."

The 11th captain chuckled and shook his head.

"You wouldn't be cold anyway." He told his friend. "With the hair covering your body you'd be all warm."

Kyouraku straight out laughed. "I guess then my fury body should be warming yours, eh?"

"I wouldn't allow you to..."

They were interrupted once more by Yamamoto.

"Silence! Both of you! Now everybody get back into line!"

Shunsui gave him a wide smirk, winked and moved back into position. Zaraki shook his head and did the same. Well at least they managed to pass some time.

* * *

"Is something on your mind?"

"Hm?" Zaraki turned around to look at the 8th captain who was mustering him. "Everythin' 's fine. Watcha mean?"

The older man simply shrugged.

"I don't know. You just looked like you were thinking hard over something before I poked you." He explained.

Kenpachi only shook his head. "Nah – everything is as always."

"I noticed. This time I only decided to ask you."

He had done it before? He hadn't noticed.

"No." He finally said. "It really is nothing."

"If you say so." Shunsui said softly and touched his shoulder. "You should let it out somewhere though. You know – not swallowing everything down. Hmmm start with a journal if you think you can't tell anybody." He said softly.

"A journal is for pussies." Came the gruff reply.

The brownhaired chuckled softly. "Yes, but it still could help." He said squeezing his shoulder. "Well, I gotta be going before Nanao-chan chases after me again. See ya later Zaraki-chan."

The tall captain watched the other leave and sighed softly. He'd get a nap now, the rest he could decide on later.

* * *

He sat up quickly – a loud scream stuck in his throat. He took in deep gulps of air and laid back down. After he calmed down again he looked at the ceiling and wiped the sweat off his forehead. Of course – like every night. Sighing he got out of his bed and sat down at his desk – looking at the paperwork.

A journal.

Zaraki sighed once more. It was too risky. What if somebody stole and read it? It was nobody's business, but his. Maybe... maybe the other one was right though. It could give him some peace.

He should at least try it.

He searched for some empty papers on his desk and looked down at them. How did people usually start this shit? Don't they introduce themselves first? But how should he introduce himself? The name he used was not really his. His parents? He never got to know them. He had only her and she? The only thing... the only thing he ever got her to tell him was his birthdate...

Yachiru.

He started.

* * *

"But Yachiru!" The boy whined and hugged her knee. "If you know my birthdate then you surely know my name! Who were my parents? Why don't you ever tell me?"

The woman sighed and kneeled down, clasping his shoulders and looking in his eyes.

It had been seven years now. Seven years since she had run away with Youko-chan. Since that fateful night she hadn't called him by his name anymore. She has merely called him 'boy'. She could not decide which name was worthly to be worn by Reichin Sazare's heir.

Reichin.

Every day the boy looked more and more like his mother. While his older brothers both came after their father, he was completely like her.

"I am sorry boy. You know I can't tell." She sighed as she looked into his sad golden eyes. "How about you go and play a little?"

"With who? They all are ignoring me." Then he shook his head. "I'll go and treat the garden." He decided and walked away; not giving her a second glance.

She sat back on the broken, old stairs and rubbed her forehead. Life has not been treating them well. In order to really hide the boy she decided to live with him in a small village. She would never get used to those village people though. Here they did not help each other. Your business is your business and if you, for example, have bad luck with your garden – if your harvest is not enough, then you die alone – nobody would lend you a helping hand. Yet these people loved to come together and gossip, loved nominating a scapegoat, who they blamed for all their failed lives. If she were back at the mansion she would never have talked with such low, back-stabbing humans. But it couldn't be helped.

"Yachiru. Half of our plants are dead."

Slowly coming out of her thoughts she looked at the boy in front of her, holding a dead plant in his hand.

The people claimed him to be the scapegoat. Calling him demon and telling him that it is his fault Yachiru was so poor. She clenched her teeth – he always believed them. There have been countless times he told her she was free to leave him behind, that he would understand. Countless times when he gave her his food, claiming how he was not hungry anymore. She was not convinced, she took in the form in front of her, never was.

The boy was small, far too small. His mother, who in her adulthood reached two meters easily, was by far taller at his age. And the boy was so thin – close to starving. So frail and petite with long black hair and big golden eyes.

She sighed and opened her arms. "Come here, boy."

He did so immediately; dropping the plant, running up to her and jumping into her arms. She held him tightly and kissed his dirty forehead.

"I love you." She whispered and petted him.

He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch; always enjoying the attention she gave him.

"I love you too." He whispered and re-opened his eyes to look at her.

The wind was playing with the bells, which were attached with a string to the roof, hanging over their heads. The boy sighed contently.

She looked into his trusting face, stroked down a cheek and held back a sob. Everything was so unfair. He should be playing with his brothers now, talking with his father or cuddling with his mother. Instead he was here. Cursed by village people and fighting hunger.

Yachiru shook her head, leaned down and kissed his hair. "We should eat something." She suggested. "I am hungry. We will worry about our harvest tomorrow."

The boy looked up and smiled slightly. "But I'm not hungry Yachiru." A lie. She could look right through it.

"You have hardly eaten anything yesterday."

"It's your food."

The woman sighed.

"You listen too much what the village people say, boy." She said softly and stroked his nape. "They are nothing but fools."

"No." The boy chewed on his lower lip and looked down at his lap, playing nervously with the edge of his torn kimono. "They are right." He continued finally. "I'm nothing but a freeloader. I bring you bad luck. You would be so much better off without me."

She sighed once more and hugged him tightly to her chest. "That is not true." She whispered. "You are my happiness and you help me so much. You are neither a freeloader nor a demon. Don't listen to them."

The boy did not look convinced at all, but also didn't bother to reply – he just continued to play with his kimono.

"We will eat now. And after that we'll continue with your writing lessons, ok?"

That seemed to work. He looked up excited and nodded. "Yeah, sounds like a plan!" he chirped. Yachiru smiled down at him, then moved him off her lap and stood up. "Then let's get going."

It was their daily life. They would wake up early in the morning, get up and when it rained they would quickly wash. They would train a little – she still had to protect the boy and he should learn to watch out himself too. Then they would work in their garden – trying to save as much as possible. In the evening they would eat something – she always more or less had to make him eat, although she could see how hungry he was – and then she would study with him – just the basics, but it was at least something. Not many here could write, read and count.

Every third evening they would go to the market – try to get some trades done.

It was not easy and by far not as easy as it should have been, but they managed somehow. And that was important.

* * *

"At least we got some bread." She tried to lighten the mood. They just were on their way back home from an evening at the market place. They managed to get some of their vegetables traded with some bread. It was not much, but at least eatable and filled your stomach.

Both turned another corner, the boy didn't bother to reply, and continued on their way on the small road through the run-down houses. It was raining slightly and the woman hoped they would manage to lighten a small fire back at their cottage. It was quite cold.

They turned another corner when they saw a dead end in front of them. "Ah look, you have got us lost again boy." She said and grinned down at him.

"Peh." He replied and smirked up at her. "That's all your fault Yachiru."

She chuckled lightly and pettet his hair. "We'll try the other road then." She informed and turned around – just in that moment a wooden bat connected with her head and sent her flying backwards.

"Yachiru!" the boy shouted after he got over his shock and kneeled down at her side – touching her shoulder carefully. A big bluster was located on her forehead, blood running down her face. "Damn." She muttered and tried to wipe it off. "How could I be so careless?"

"Are you alright?" She could hardly make out his worried face above her – everything was so blurry.

"Now see what we have got here." A deep voice said. "A baby boy and a whore."

The boy turned his face to the men who stepped out of the shadows; one of them holding the bat. He stood up quickly and balled his hands into small fists. "What do you want? Leave us alone!"

"Or what?" the man in the middle asked mockingly. He had short, dirty brown hair and a long beard. He was tall and muscled; wearing a stained coat and pants. On the loose belt around his hips he had a small axe.

He stepped forward and smirked. "Or what?" he asked once more. "Or I'm going to kill you." The boy growled.

Howling laughter was heard. "Y...you" the man managed in between chuckles "You want to kill us?"

Suddenly the smirk vanished and he turned serious. "Don't joke around, small shit. We are mountain thieves. We'll kill you with nothing more than our thump."

"If you are mountain thieves." Came a stained voice from behind. "Then what do you want here?" Yachiru continued and sat up slowly. She was dizzy and still cursing herself for being so careless.

"Yachiru." The boy said softly and turned his attention back to her.

"What we doin' here?"

"Yes, or do you have trouble understanding?"

One of the men whistled.

"You got spine woman." The boss said and smirked once more. "We have our 'night out'." he announced loudly and his men cheered.

"Your... your night out?"

"Yes." He said and stepped closer again. "Filled with booze and whores." He grinned. "We already got the booze." Some of his fellows lifted the bottles. "And you will bring the cunt."

Loud shouting was heard. Yachiru looked quickly at the boy holding her shoulder, looking at her worried. "Run!"

"What?" the boy asked her perplexed and took a step back – eyes gone wide. He shook his head and balled his hands into firsts once more. "I won't leave you!"

"Awwwww look at the little hero." They have not noticed the boss getting closer to them, picking up the boy by the collar. "Leave him alone!" the woman shouted and jumped up – but was immediately smacked to the ground again. "Know your place, bitch." The man growled "And you stop kicking, small shit. Ya won't change anything. Wanna know why?" The boy glared up at him. "Cause ya are fuckin' weak."

The boy growled.

"A weak little shit."

"I won't allow you to hurt Yachiru!" The boy shouted. "I won't! Got it you big oaf?"

"Yachiru, eh. And what's your name?" the boss asked, uncaring about the outburst of the other. That one looked at the ground and then back up. "I don't have a name." He answered quietly. "No? What do your friends call you?" "I... have no friends."

The men chuckled.

"Wanna know why?" the man murmured close to his face. "Because you are a weakling. Ya are just not strong enough to be a somebody. And you wanna know what?"

"What?" the boy whispered defeated and swallowed. "I'm going to fuck your Yachiru now. Take my pleasure out of her worthless little body and then I am going to kill her slowly and... you..." he came even closer to the small face. "You will not do anything besides watching, weakling." He chuckled; did not expect the boy to suddenly shout and kick his nose full force though. Immediately he let the boy fall to the ground, howling in pain and holding his bleeding nose. The men growled, got out their weapons and advanced. Not hesitating any longer the woman picked up her long sword, by far longer than she herself was, unsheathed it and stood in front of her boy.

"Don't come any closer." She growled; holding her sword tightly.

"Oh you will pay for that." The man said, wiping the blood away and wrapping his hand around his axe. "This won't end nice for you two." He promised and immediately attacked. Even though the woman was much smaller than the man she did not have problems keeping up with him – she blocked his wild attacks and landed some blows of her own. There was no chance for her to win though – not with the other men starting to attack her too. Yachiru was not able to block all of them and soon was covered in cuts and bruises. She kicked one in the guts and jumped backwards.

"Boy."

He did not react. He had been mesmerized since the fight started. His Yachiru was so strong. Why was he so much weaker? He had to protect her after all. That was the least thing he could do.

"Boy!"

He snapped out of his daze and looked at her. She was bleeding and panting heavily.

She really was out of training.

"Run away!"

He stood up. "I... I won't leave you here!" he said stubbornly and took a step forward.

"Don't argue with m..." She was slammed on the ground by a wall of a man – bones cracking by the impact.

"Yachiru!" he shouted and started to run towards her, but was simply picked up once more.

"Little weakling crying." A thin man with dead eyes purred in his face.

"I ain't crying! I never cry!"

The man smirked. "Then watch and cry, weakling." He said, held the thrashing boy away from him – making him watch the scene.

By now the giant has got up and the boss has taken his place above the cursing woman – sitting on her thighs and pinning her hands to the ground.

"You fucking bastard!" she shouted and bucked under him. "Let go of me, worthless freak."

The men chuckled and their leader only smirked, gripped her dirty kimono and opened it for his eyes.

The boy shouted and thrashed even more. "Don't you dare!"

He did not know what the other has planned, but he did not like seeing his guardian humiliated like this. A dread feeling started in the pit of his stomach when he saw the small flinch of fear in her eyes. "No! Nonono NO!"

His shouts were barely heard over the cheering of the men though. The boss by now had spread her thighs and placed them around his hips. He licked his lips and stroked over her quivering belly. "I am going to make you wish you never were born." He purred down, feeling himself getting even harder when he saw her angry glare. Breaking such a proud creature – it will be so much fun.

"Boss!" "Watch out!" Too late – small fist connected with his jaw. He hardly felt it and looked at the angry boy standing in front of him. A quick glance at the other man, trying to catch his breath, told him that the little one probably kicked his throat.

He smirked.

"Boy! Please run."

"No." He said determinedly. "E...even if I am weak. I am not a coward."

The man's smirk vanished. "You are weak and not worth my time."

He moved his hand behind him.

"I've got enough of you."

The boy had barely time to step back when the man's axe slashed his face.

He howled in pain and held the long, deep gash covering the left side of his face.

"YOU BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU!" The woman bellowed and started bucking once more. He let go of his weapon and slapped her face. "Shut up, bitch." He growled.

Then a smirk once more tugged on his lips. "Men? You wanna fuck something deep and good? Until it shouts, cries and bleeds?"

The men cheered loudly – his smirk became wider.

Tears formed in the corners of her eyes and she slowly shook her head.

"Then fuck the boy."

When she could hear them coming towards him, could hear her precious kicking and shouting and finally... finally screaming in pain, she closed her eyes and let her tears fall freely.

She had failed.

He was still holding his burning face, trying to hold back tears, when the boss suddenly started his long speech. He tried to understand what he meant. What was fucking? What will they do now?

He had no chance to ponder too long about it though. Suddenly they were onto him.

One pinning his hands above his head – grinning down at him.

He started to shout.

Then two tried to grip his legs.

He started to kick at them – but without much success.

They were not bothered, gripped the limps and spread him widely. He was scared – tried to get away.

What were they doing now?

Then one knelt down in front of him, held his dick in his hand and pushed the boy's hips up on his lap. The men around them chuckled, some of them pushing their kimonos out of the way; some opening their pants.

With one hard shove the man entered the tight opening and groaned in ecstasy – some of the others did too.

The boy screamed in pain. The burning on his face was forgotten.

He was split in two, never before had he hurt that much. He tried to get away, but the big men were holding him down, he had no chance to escape the one who was shoving his hot, hard flesh in and out of his ripped and bloody hole.

He wanted to die.

Her chest felt so heavy; she barely could take in breathes. The boy she promised to protect was being... being used right next to her. She couldn't do anything. She took in gulping breathes. She just couldn't get away and help him – why couldn't she move? Tears were running down her face. Suddenly she was slapped hard.

"Not playing tough anymore, huh?"

Slowly she remembered again in what situation she actually was – not that it bothered her anymore. All that mattered was next to her – raped like a cheap whore.

She was slapped once more.

"Don't ignore me, bitch."

Did the fool not understand that he was not important anymore? That neither she nor him mattered? That only the boy was important. The boy who was...

A sharp pain in her side made her groan loudly. Yachiru tasted blood in her mouth. She looked down on herself – the axe was stuck in her side.

"That will teach you to pay attention."

She growled and spit the blood in his face.

"What have you done?" she breathed out while he wiped the blood of his with a smirk on his lips "You have no idea what you have done? How could you? ...Why?"

He leaned down until their noses were touching and held her thighs tighter. "Because I am stronger."

She was just about to bite off his nose when there was another loud scream. She turned her head to the scene next to her. Another man has taken... has...

Tears were running down her face while she watched what exactly they were doing to him. How could they do that? He was innocent – he had done nothing. Why was nobody helping? She took in a shaky breath. The noise they were making – the shouts of the boy... the village people had to hear it! Why were they turning their backs? Were they that scared? Did they hate him that much?

Suddenly her vision became black. She took in deep gulps of air and then screamed.

He let the axe fall next to her... next to her chopped of leg.

"Feels great – doesn't it?" he said mockingly and picked up the fallen limp. "That will teach you not to ignore a man who intends to fuck your brains out, bitch."

She could hardly breath – black spots were still dancing in front of her eyes. Her jaw was gripped in a fierce grip and she had to look in his face. Had to look in the face of the man who was responsible for it all.

"Sooo... shall we get goin'?"

"Yo boss?"

The leader snorted and glanced at them. "What?" he bit out.

"I think we broke him." The tall man said laughing and kicked against the small bundle on the ground.

"Ohhh what a shame." The boss crooned. "Well then guys – I guess you can watch. But only cuz it's a special night." He continued grinning.

The men didn't have to be told twice. Immediately they sat down next to their boss – waiting eagerly for him to continue.

He grinned down at her – feeling even better when he saw the broken look in her eyes – and entered her in one hard shove.

He groaned and let his head fall back. "Fuck ya are tight ya little bitch. Didn't let a lot of dicks near ya pussy lately, eh?" he said grinning and shoved in and out in a hard pace.

She didn't know what hurt more – the pain in her chopped of leg or down there – where he violated her. More and more tears were running down her face while she still tried to catch her breath. But why was she trying? It would be so much better if she just lost her consciousness. Could forget how much she failed; could forget in how much pain she was.

The man let out a shout and moved out of her. She blinked away her tears and looked up. She was stunned – like the men around them. Her sword was between the other's rips.

"You... you little... you little shit." The man groaned and looked behind him.

Yachiru could see her boy. His face was covered in blood; especially his left side where the gash was still bleeding. His kimono was askew and blood, among something else, was running down his thighs. His lips were drawn back, even though it must hurt badly, and he growled – holding her sword.

The leader gripped the blade and pulled it out of him, even though the boy tried to let it stay at it's place. He was not strong enough – especially not now. The man stood up on his full height and pulled the sword out of the boy's grip.

"I honestly have enough of ya." He growled and spit some blood on the ground. Then he quickly moved forwards, gripped the edges of the boy's kimono and picked him up. "Don't you understand that you are not strong enough?"

"Boy!" Yachiru shouted and tried to get up. It was of no use though. She could only lay there and watch.

The boss walked up to the wall and pinned the small form against it; holding him by his wrists now. "Ya just don't understand that you can't change anything." He whispered against his ear. "Don't you see how weak you are? Don't you see that others are so much stronger? You gotta learn something boy." He said and looked back into his face. "The strong ones make the rules. The strong ones are unstoppable."

Then he lifted Yachiru's sword and stabbed the boy's palms – pinning him to the wall. The smaller form groaned in pain and closed his eyes. He would not give the other the satisfaction to cry. The man smirked and stroked a thump over the long gash on his face. "And now you gonna watch what's happening to the ones who are too weak to change anything. Too weak to protect. " He kissed the boy's forehead. "You are a failure."

He moved back between the woman's thighs, sent the boy a smirk and entered her again. He started to move his hips in a hard pace while wrapping his hand around the handle of his axe again.

With teary eyes the boy looked into Yachiru's broken ones. The man was right – he had failed her.

The leader brought down the axe on her right arm – chopping it off smoothly. She screamed in pain.

The boy's vision became blurry – everything faded into black.

* * *

At first he hoped everything was just a bad dream. A nightmare. Any moment he'd wake up on the hard, cold, wooden floor with Yachiru wrapped securely around him. But instead of the floor and her warm body he felt the pain between his thighs and face, the hard wall against his back... and rain, so much rain.

Slowly he opened his eyes. It was hard; especially opening his left eye. It was raining heavily by now, but that did not matter to him anymore. Ahead of him laid Yachiru. Her eyes and mouth were wide open; blood running down. She had neither arms nor legs anymore – they were thrown on a pile a little further away. Her stomach was ripped open – her insides laid down around her.

The mountain thieves were gone.

He could feel how a sob started in the back of his throat. He had never really cried before. He believed in exchange – so it all was fair. There was nothing to cry about. But this time... he felt how the tears were running down his face, this time it was different.

He took in deep shaky breathes while he let them run down freely. Then he stiffened his body, pressed his legs and wrists against the wall to be able to free himself. It took long, but in the end he managed to fall on the hard ground. He didn't care about the pain anymore. He bit the hilt of the sword and pulled it out. He laid still for some moments, trying to catch his breath. After the managed to calm down a little he slowly stood up, picked up the sword and moved to her.

He looked down at his dead guardian; trying to not have a complete breakdown. She would want him to go on though – no matter how much he wanted to just die. He once more ignored the horrible pain and went to look for the sword's sheath. Once he found it he put it in the kimono belt; which he tied tighter around his body. Then he knelt down next to her and put her organs back into her body. He tied her limps with her kimono belt to her body – hoping it would hold.

After he was done he pulled her with him – it was time to go home.

* * *

He just finished burring her. It was not much – he dug out a hole in their garden, laid her inside and pushed the muddy earth onto her. It still was raining heavily – and she vanished out of his life.

He took in another shaky breath then he gripped her sword tighter. It was so long – almost three times his size, but he decided he would take it with him. It was the only thing he had left of her. That and the 11 bells which were always hanging over their porch – playing in the soft breeze.

He bit back another sob.

He knew he had to move fast now. The village people surely were after him – they of course would blame him. In their eyes he was always the demon.

"And they were right." He whispered. "Forgive me Yachiru, for not being strong enough."

He took one last glance at her grave and then run to the woods where he would go into hiding.

He was in so much pain and still bloody, but it couldn't be helped. He didn't care about himself anymore, but Yachiru taught him to never give up.

"I gonna be stronger and stronger and stronger...and then find them again... and kill them."

Never again did he want to be at somebody's mercy.


	4. Eleven

**Title:** Weakling: Chapter 3 – Eleven

**Fandom:** Bleach

**Pairings:** othersxZaraki Kenpachi; none in this one

**Rating:** NC-17. This Chapter: R

**Warning:** Rape [also forced minor sex], gore and death.

**Disclaimer: **Neither Bleach nor the sexy characters in it belong to me. They all belong to lucky Tite Kubo. Only the idea of this fanficition and some characters [NO Mary-Sues!] belong to me. And, as sad as it is, I don't gain any money with this piece.

**Eleven**

He was sitting sluggishly in his chair – one hand still holding the pen while his other couldn't stop rubbing the scar on his face. He was shaking and breathing heavily. Maybe writing everything down wasn't such a good idea after all. It made everything so real. Until now he had tried to ignore what happened; until now he always pretended his life started when he met baby Yachiru. The scar always was a very bad reminder – pulling him back towards reality – reminding him; but having it black on white was by far worse than he imagined. He sighed and rubbed the scar even harder.

"Ken-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"

Immediately he jumped up – sending his chair flying backwards. Hastily he collected the papers in a pile and shoved them in a drawer. Just as his door opened he turned around, looking in the confused eyes of his daughter. "You... you are already up!" she chirped and ran up to him to hug his left leg. He turned to look outside the window – indeed it was already bright; he must have forgotten time – before he leaned down to pet her head. She smiled brightly up at him before letting go and running to the door where she turned to face him again. "Get ready and then let's have breakfast." she chirped happily. He yawned and stroked a hand through his long hair. "Every time." he said finally and glanced at her. "I never have breakfast." She pouted. "Go and get something while I get ready." He continued and kneed down in front of his daughter. "After that we can go and annoy Kushi some." he said with a wide grin and winked. "YAY!" she cheered immediately and hugged his neck. "I'll go then!" she announced loudly and ran out – most likely to annoy Ikkaku to make her something sweet for breakfast. The 11th captain shook his head smiling and walked into his bathroom.

It was not big, but by far more than he was used to have. The floor and the walls were covered with plain white tiles. Randomly there were white tiles with the 11th Division symbol placed. To his right there was a small white bathtub and right next to it a small shower stall. Across from him, placed against the wall, was a toilet; above it a small window. To his left there was a small sink built in a wide dresser. Above it was a wide mirror, which he always tried to ignore. He stepped in and closed the door behind himself. Once he was done he got back in his room where he quickly dressed in his captain uniform before sitting down in front of the mirror he had in his room. Time to do his hair. He sighed and opened a small drawer where he got out a box before closing it again. Carefully he opened the box. Inside there were eleven small, golden bells, placed in red satin. He closed his eye, the other already covered by his eyepatch, and could hear their sound when a light breeze was blowing through them over their hands; back on the porch of their small hut. He shook his head, opened his eye and looked in the mirror. Stupid scar, stupid memories. He went to work.

–

"Do you have to come and annoy me?" he asked coldly and took in the two peasants in front of him. "Gosh Kushi. Don't get ya panties in a knot." Byakuya could feel how his right eyebrow started to twitch. They placed themselves across from him at the table. Yachiru was eating a huge piece of cake, seemed like they annoyed his staff before invading his personal quarters. Kenpachi was sitting next to her; his head leaned on his left arm which was placed on the table, fixing him with a bored expression. "Please refrain from using such words, peasant." "Stop the princess attitude, girly. Be happy that somebody even bothers visiting you." "I do not wish for visits." Kenpachi cliqued his tongue. "Of course." he said smoothly and yawned. The noble only shook his head. These two did what they wanted anyway.

"Nii-sama. Where... oh..." Rukia stated surprised as she opened the door and peeked inside. "Kenpachi-taichou. Kusajishi-fukutaichou." she said hastily and bowed. The 11th captain only waved her off while Yachiru smiled brightly at her, pieces of cake smeared around her face. "Hai Rukia-chan." she chirped before putting her attention back to the cake. "Paying my brother a visit again?" she asked softly. Kenpachi only grunted while Yachiru nodded and shoved in another piece of cake. "What do you want?" asked the 6th captain strictly and glanced coldly at her. "Uh.." she flushed slightly. "Not important nii-sama. I will come back later." she said embarrassed, bowed and left the room. "I'll go with her." the pink-haired girl chirped and stood up. "Wait." her father said "You'll stain everything like that." he murmured, picked up a napkin and wiped the cake off her face. Once he was finished he threw it on the empty plate. "See ya later." she announced and ran out of the room.

"You are too soft on her."

"Huh?" Kenpachi glanced from the door back to Byakuya. He rubbed his scar and fixed him with a hard stare. "And you are far too strict with your sister."

Byakuya looked at him coldly... then smirked.

Kenpachi smirked right back at him.

...

"Zaraki." a soft kick in his side. "Wake up." The tall man grunted and slowly opened his eye – Byakuya was standing above him. He rubbed his forehead and sat up. "What?" "You fell asleep. I have a family meeting now and don't need you here." Kenpachi grunted once more and slowly stood up. "Where is Yachiru?" "Somewhere in Sereitei. I do not know for sure." "Ah well. See ya later."he said and walked to the door and opened it. "Kenpachi." The taller one turned around and looked into Byakuya's cold face. "I do not like it when you always suddenly fall asleep here. Go to Unohana when you need help." The 11th captain only waved him off. "Yeah, yeah." he muttered and walked out. The noble watched the door some time before shaking his head. "Stupid peasant."

–

He had put Yachiru three hours ago to bed and was currently watching the dark ceiling above him. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. Seemed like he could not go to sleep. It was funny really – where his way had taken him. Back then he slept on the cold ground not in a bed covered with the softest of furs. Back then he had nobody he could annoy or was worried about him. Back then he didn't have a bathroom... couldn't even wash the blood away...

He sat up, move the pile of black fur out of the way and stood up. He stretched and sat down at his desk. He took some time to look out the window. Should he really try it again? He placed his head in his hands. Why wasn't it just going away? It had been YEARS now. He just wanted to forget. Defeated he rubbed his face and got out fresh papers.

-.-

The first few nights after the incident were the most horrible ones in his life. The raining stopped once he had left the village behind – giving him no chance to wash all the blood off. Big clusters were on his face – especially around the long slash, which still re-opened after the slightest movement of his face. Blood was still on his hands; not his but Yachiru's – reminding him too much of what happened. It also still was between his thighs; itching and rubbing. But the blood was nothing compared to the pain he still felt. His face hurt so much he didn't dare to show any form of expression, his butt hurt so much that every step was torture – that he could hardly sit. The worst pain though was the one in his chest. One night... just one night and he lost everything.

But he would go on – step after step.

–

He did not know how much time passed, but slowly the pain stopped – a scar was left on his face though; and his kimono got shorter and shorter.

He slept wherever he fell, he ate whatever he found. He did not like stealing – it was unfair, the others worked for it after all; and people did not like to give him something. Whenever he entered a village they sent him disgusted looks, got out of his way or just ignored him. He did not know what hurt him more – that they hated him or that they pretended he was not there. He was completely invisible.

He missed Yachiru.

Sighing the boy entered another village; the long, long sword being pulled after him. The box, which housed Yachiru's bells, was in the half ripped sash of his kimono. He wiped some of the long, wild stands out of his face and looked around; his stomach grumbling loudly. He placed a hand over his belly and groaned – so hungry. He looked up at the few people standing together – most likely gossiping, but they hastily walked out of his way. They surely all saw the monster he truly was – letting the most important person in his life die. He sighed heavily and continued on his way.

It was a village like any other he walked through.

In the middle there was the market, where most of the people tried to trade their goods. It wasn't a very colourful or loud one – some trading vegetables, some rice and everybody seemed to know where to go for what they needed. Around the markets they placed their homes – close together to protect them from the harsh wind.

Suddenly somebody bumped into him and sent his weakened body backwards, where he connected with the hard, cold ground. "The heck, boy!" he looked up dazed, saw the blurry form of a tall, old man. "Watch out where ya goin'!" he scolded the small form on the ground and stepped over him. The boy turned slowly onto his belly and looked after him.

Meat.

He licked his cropped lips and his stomach started to growl even louder – always starving. The man carried a pig over his shoulder. Would it hurt him so much to give him just a small piece? He was so hungry. He pushed himself up, gripped his sword and walked after the man as fast as he could. "Excuse me." he said once he reached the old man, gripping his pants. "Could I have some meat? Please?" The man growled and looked down on him. "Ya have something to trade?" The boy sadly looked on the ground and then back up. Slowly he shook his head. "No." he said quietly. The man moved his leg out of the boy's grip and spit down next to him. "Then forget it." he growled and moved on. "Stupid freeloaders. Sit around and beg." he heard him mutter before he was too far gone. The boy bit his lower lip and continued on his way – maybe he would be able to hunt something down in the forest. He looked ahead once he reached the edge of the village – it seemed so far away. He shook his head and rubbed his scar. Yachiru would be ashamed of him. All he could do was complain day in and day out. He should be able to take matters into his own hands; shouldn't be such a crybaby.

"_Weakling."_

he bit his lip harder. No. He didn't want to be one anymore.

The boy groaned once more cramps started. The hand from his face moved back to his belly. He was out of the village now; only some small huts still randomly placed around. The further he got the more his vision started to blacken though. His knees started to buckle and after some more steps completely gave out. With a soft groan he landed once more on the ground. Everything was so blurry. He blinked to sharpen his vision again, but it was of no help. He blackened out.

–

His nose tingled. The smell. He crawled his hands into the blanket as the cramps started again. … Blankets?

Immediately he opened his eyes. At first everything was blurry, but after he blinked he noticed a wooden ceiling above him. Where was he?

"Finally awake, huh?" said an annoyed voice. Slowly he turned his head to his right. A girl, some years older than him, was sitting on a small broken chair. She had short brown hair and big, honey-brown eyes. She was rather tall, her skin tanned and a cold expression on her face. She wore a long, torn, white kimono and a yellow ribbon around her neck. "Took ya long enough." she growled, one eyebrow raised in annoyance. "Who are you?" he rasped. She humpfed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I should be the one asking questions." she barked. A small, sad smile was tugging on his lips. "But I will have no answer for you." he said sadly. "Huh?" she let out confused and stroked a hand through her short tresses. "Whatever, crybaby." she waved him off and stood up. She moved to the bed, picked up a small pot containing water and helped him sit up. "Drink. Yukari will have a small soup for you ready soon." "W..why?" he asked confused, but took a sip anyway. "You were alone out there." He glanced at her face which turned solemn. "You are an orphan." He nodded at the statement; rubbing his scar again. "We all are." She slapped his hand away. "So stop being such a pussy, ya ain't alone. You are a boy – grow some balls and get over it." Sadly he bit his lower lip and looked at the blanket. "But I failed her." She groaned. "You really are a crybaby." she said annoyed. Angrily he looked up at her. "I ain't one!" She leaned close to his face. "You are!" He growled "I ain't!" "Ya..."

"Miyuki." came a soft voice from the door. "Don't be so mean to him." He glanced to the door. A small girl was standing there holding a tray. She probably was only one or two years older than him. She had black hair which she held in piggytails, some wild bangs were hanging over her forehead. She had a soft face and friendly dark green eyes. Her skin was slightly tanned and over her brown, dirty kimono she had a stained apron. "Gah, Yukari!" the girl next to him said and slapped her forehead. "Don't protect that momma boy." "I ain't one!" he growled and turned his attention back to her. "Geez stop it you two." said the small girl and put the tray on his lap. On it was a steamy, watery soup. "It ain't much, but it's something." she told him in a friendly tune. "I... I..." His stomach growled. "I don't want stuff for free." he chocked out. "Pfffft!" the older girl said and slapped the back of his head. "Ya won't get it for free – don't cha worry." "Huh?" He looked confused at her. "Ya will work here after all. And I have no need for pussies, so ya better get some flesh on ya skinny frame. Ya look like a girl." He ignored her mocking comment. "And where am I?" "At an orphanage." Yukari chirped. "O... orphanage?" "Yeah! Mine! And cause these fuckin' adults don't feel like helpin' us cause we are slime we gotta help ourselves. My name..." she smirked and slapped her chest. "Is Miyuki Sato. And this..." she pointed at the small girl. "Is Yukari Taito. There are others – we are ten." she informed him. "And you are our eleven." "And who are you?" Yukari asked curiously. "Hn" he licked over his lip nervously. "I have no name." "No?" the small girl asked. "Ya mentioned somebody earlier. Did she not give ya a name?" Miyuki questioned. He simply shook his head. "Well then..." she put a finger on her lip and turned thoughtful. "Then we'll simply call you..." "Jyu-ichi." Yukari chirped and laughed happily. "That's a stupid name." Miyuki growled. "Nuuu..." Yukari pouted. "It is not." She turned to the boy and hugged him close. "Ya like it too, don't cha?" He flushed a bright scarlet and swallowed. "Uh... yeah." he said. "Yay!" she let go of him and jumped around. Miyuki facepalmed and growled. "Ok then. Jyu-ichi it is." she sighed and looked down at him. "Now eat before it turns cold." He nodded, still blushing and uttered a small "Thank you." before starting to eat. "Just do it slowly." the older girl remained him. "Or ya'll vomit." He nodded in understanding and continued slowly. He couldn't believe what was happening.

–

Once he woke up again he blinked the sleep from his eyes and slowly sat up. He looked around. Still the messy, run down room. There was a big hole in the floor to the left of the bed; ahead of him there was a door without a handle and a cupboard which had no doors anymore. To his right there was a plate on a broken chair being used as a bedsidetable and a chair right under a window – more like a hole in the wall – it had nothing to be closed. The bed on which he was sitting was very small – the legs on the footend were broken – which made it uneven. It had no mattress, the pillow smelled of dirt and the blanket had stains and was ripped at some places.

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

Yet it was all so much more than he ever hoped for.

He re-opened them and stood up carefully. Once he wrapped the sash tighter and made sure that the long sword and box, containing the bells, were in the room he left it.

He found Miyuki in the kitchen downstairs. It was a small, shabby kitchen with big windows, which at least could be closed, and two tall cupboards with broken legs. There was a big pot on the floor which seemed to be used as a sink and a fireplace right next to it. Most of the room was dominated by a long table though, which had all kind of things around it, which were serving as chairs.

"Ya are awake." He looked up in her cold face. "Good." she continued. "First of all we gotta find a new kimono for you and cut your hair. You look like a girl." she announced and pointed to a bucket with holes. "Sit down, Jyu-ichi ." He wanted to say something, but decided against it. Quickly he sat down while Miyuki got a dagger. "Kyoko! Search for a kimono in Hakari's size!" she called up the stairs before stepping behind him. Carefully she pulled his jet-black hair, which reached his elbows by now, back and held it in one hand. Without another warning she cut everything off by his neck. The freed tresses fell back into place – they were covered his ears and forehead now. The girl stepped in front of him. "Well... better." she said and mustered him. "At least you don't look that girly anymore. Gotta strengthen your stare some though." He licked his lip. "I know I am weak." he said softly. "Nah." she said and clasped his shoulder. "Ya are just missing ya balls." She smirked, but it vanished once another girl entered. He glanced at her. She must have been around Miyuki's age with long, bright brown curls pulled in a pony-tail. Her thin, pale frame was wrapped in a baby-blue kimono with yellow flowers. It had also stains, but the holes were sewed. She fixed him with icy blue eyes and a friendly smile. "Hi. My name is Kyoko Tanaki." she greeted him in a soft tune. "Hi." he chocked out. "I am... Jyu-ichi." He felt a flutter in his chest. He suddenly felt is if he belonged. "Jyu-ichi?" "Nma Yukari named him." came Miyuki's cold voice from the background. "You got something?" "Of course." Kyoko replied smoothly and held up the cloth she was carrying. "It is a bit too small for Hakari." She mustered the boy. "But I think it will fit his slight frame." "Good." Miyuki said. "Give it to him and then get the others." The other nodded, handed him the kimono and after he said thanks she left upstairs again. "Put it on." "But..." he blushed. She groaned. "Ya won't lose ya dick if I watch. Kami! You are by far worse than the girls." she growled and turned away from him. "Put it on." she said again. "Quickly he undid his sash and let the kimono fall on the floor. He picked up the new one, put it on and wrapped the sash around it. The kimono was a dark blue with yellow tiger designs. The sash was dark yellow – almost golden. It had some stains, but the holes were sewed. And most importantly, he looked down on himself, it reached his ankles instead of his thighs. "Thank you." he said again, but the other turned around and waved him off. She bent down, picked up his kimono and sash and threw them in the fireplace. It would serve one last purpose. He sat down again when he could suddenly hear footsteps. Slowly he stood up once more and watched the staircase. First Kyoko, then four children he did not know, then Yukari and after her three more entered. Nine children stood in front of him; four boys and six girls. "This." Miyuki said and touched his right shoulder softly. "Is from now on your family." She sat down on the bucket, pulled him on her lap and hugged his waist.

"I am the oldest one, fifteen. My mother died giving birth to me and my dad when I was ten. I was alone and nobody cared about me. This is my house and I swore to myself to have a family again. That I would help other children who were shunned and left alone. Soon after I found Kyoko and Akito." Kyoko stepped forward and touched her chest softly. "I am Kyoko Tanaki. I am fourteen years old. My parents fell ill when I was nine and died when I was ten. The people in the village I lived in made me run away. They didn't want to have a freeloader. So I ran and ran and ran... until I met Miyuki."

A boy stepped up now. He had short, dirty brown hair and friendly dark blue eyes. He was very tanned and wore a deep red kimono. "My name is Akito Haruno and I am also fourteen. I grew up with my brothers, but once they needed to move they left me behind. I went after them, but instead of them I found this place here.

A girl and a boy stepped up then. Twins for sure. They both had dark red hair and bright green eyes. They were tanned and while the girl wore an orange kimono the boy wore a green one. "We are Yuna..." the girl started. "And Takeshi." the boy finished. "We are twelve and our parents threw us out when we were eight." she explained. "Luckily..." he continued. "We were not out long. Miyuki found us right away."

"You already know me." Yukari chirped and stood up straighter. "I don't know my parents and grew up with my grandparents. They were old though and died of age. I think I was eight then. Miyuki found me when I was nine – now I am ten." she told him – still happily.

"My name is Mihiko Takashi." a boy said with a wide grin on his face. He had white, spiky hair and black eyes. He wore a purple kimono and had bandages covering his wrists. "I am eleven and their protector." he said proudly. "I lived with my uncle until I was eight. Then he was killed by some peeps he should have paid. They wanted to get me too, but I was too fast for those losers. And when I stopped I arrived here."

"I am Hikari Kenta." a girl chirped and moved forward – almost the same size as him. "I am nine." she continued softly, almost shyly. She had long brown hair, touching her hips and turquoise eyes. Her small frame was wrapped in a soft pink kimono. "I was travelling with my parents when we were suddenly attacked by thieves." At this the boy twitched slightly. "I hid behind the bushes – once the sun was up my parents were dead. I wandered around until I arrived here." she told her story sadly.

Then the last kid moved forward. He was smaller than him and had black hair – the bangs were almost covering his hazel eyes. He was a little chubby and wore a crimson kimono. "I am Eiichiro Kagura." he said loudly. "I am six. I wanted to be a hero and ran away from home to travel." He looked sadly on the floor. "I've never found my way back." Then he looked up again. "But now I am here."

"You know us now." Miyuki said once Eiichiro stepped back into line. "Your turn." she demanded and pushed him onto his feet.

"Ummmm..." he said nervously and stepped forward. "I do not know my parents. Yachiru raised me until I was seven." he bit his lower lip and swallowed down a sob. "Then we were attacked and she was killed. I had to flee from the village." he looked in their faces. "I have no name and dunno how old I am, but thanks to Yukari you can call me Jyu-ichi." He bowed. "Thank you for helping me." Miyuki's hand brushed through his hair. "No need to thank us." He looked up in her smirking face. "The rules." she continued than sternly. "Family always protects each other. You will help out here like everybody else – we take turns with the chores. Do NOT go to the village. We are seen as thieves there. You will share your room with Mihiko. And most importantly." Her grin was back in place. "I am boss." He nodded and smiled up at her. Her smirk turned into a soft smile and suddenly she was hugging him. He breathed in heavily and suddenly the others were hugging him too.

–

"So you are Jyu-ichi?" Mihiko asked him curiously and leaned forward.

After they had stopped hugging they showed him the rest of the hut. Then they had a small dinner and now the two boys were sitting on their broken bed – facing each other. They black haired one nodded shyly. The white haired leaned even closer. "And ya don't even know ya age?" He shook his head now. He simply has not kept count since he lost Yachiru. "Well." Mihiko laid his hand on his head and petted it with a wide grin on his face. "Ya are small like Hikari. So probably eight or nine." The boy shrugged and looked up at his chirpy roommate. "Mah.." he moved the hand off him and sat next to the smaller one. "Don't cha worry. I'll protect you, Jyu-chan." "You don't have to." he said blushing. "Nah." Mihiko said and pulled him closer. "Ya are a frail one. Boy gotta watch over girls and frail pretties." "I ain't any of that." he blackhaired dead-panned. But the human touch after so long was not unwelcome. "Thanks though." he whispered and leaned closer. "Don't cha mention it." The older one said happily and grinned down at him.

–

"Yo Jyu-ichi. Forget the dishes and help with the wood before it gets too dark." barked Miyuki from outside. Immediately he let everything fall in the pot, stood up and wiped his hands off in his kimono. He had been here for a week now and hadn't seen the girl since the first day – so he was quite confused that she needed him now. He left the kitchen and stepped out in the warm evening air. A soft breeze was blowing. "Don't cha fall asleep now." Miyuki groaned and slapped the back of his head. He looked sadly up at her and rubbed the spot. "Kami." she said annoyed and pushed a hand through her brown tresses. "The look again. I won't call ya Jyu-ichi but Pussy. Now come on." "Hey!" he called after her. "Don't call me Pussy!" But she ignored him and continued to walk towards the trees. He growled, clenched his hands into firsts and ran after her. "Miyuki!" he said once he reached her. "Why do you say that?" She continued on. "Miyuki!" He gripped the sleeve of her white kimono and she stopped. "You!" she barked and turned her attention back to him. "I have been watching you." she started and removed the sleeve from his grip. "You are so weak."

He looked sadly on the ground.

Again.

"That's what I mean." she said calmly – he could barely hear it. She kneed down and clasped his shoulders. "You let it push you down." She put a finger under his chin and lifted his had to look in her eyes. "You are far too soft." She stroked his cheek. "They all will hurt you. They will hurt you so much." She hugged his slight frame close. "You have to hide it. You have to become somebody they either can't read or fear." She leaned back again. "You won't survive like that."

He swallowed heavily and she stood up. "Now let's go."

She walked farther into the forest. Somehow she was right.

He breathed in deeply and followed her.

–

They were cuddled together next to their fireplace – it was getting colder now. "Man if it continues like that our boys will freeze their balls off." The oldest girl complained loudly and stood up to get some more wood for the fire. "Gah Miyuki!" Mihiko called after her. "Ya damn whore have such a rotten vocabulary!" he complained and pulled Jyu-ichi closer to his chest; hugging the shivered boy even tighter. "Whatever." their leader said once she was back inside. She let a book fall next to her – for later use. "Ohhhh" Yukari chirped and looked at it curiously. "Does it have pictures?" "Nah." Miyuki answered and shook her head. "What a shame." Yukari said and looked back in the slowly dying fire. "You... you could just read it and use your imagination."

All eyes turned to Jyu-ichi, who looked at the book. "Well for that we'd need somebody who can read, silly." Akito chided him and pulled Hikari and Eiichiro closer. "Can't you read?" the blackhaired boy asked surprised. "Of course not." Kyoko answered him patiently while the twins rolled their eyes. "Only nobles and rich ones can read." "... I can read." They all gaped at him.

"Y...you are lying" Akito said. "Hey!" Mihiko growled. "Don't call him a liar!"

"You really can read?" Yukari said with sparkling eyes and kneed up. "Yeah, Yachiru taught me how to read, write and count." "That's so cool!" the black haired girl said happily, jumped up and brought him the book. "Can you read for us?" He looked surprised in their awaiting faces then shrugged and opened it. "Sure I can." Immediately they all sat closer and he started.

From then on he read to them every night.

–

"Come on. Together now!" chirped Yukari, gripped his hand and together they jumped in the river. Laughing loudly they emerged, but had to block the water once the twins jumped in next to them.

They all luckily survived the winter; only Kyoko had fallen ill for a short time. They were currently enjoying the warm days; splashing around in the river and warming their bellies in the sun. Miyuki was watching them – a small smile was tugging on her lips when she saw them all laughing so happily. But it vanished again right after. She sighed – it never reached his eyes.

"Yo Pussy. Ya gotta warm up too!"

He stepped out of the water and growled. "Don't cha call me Pussy, bitch." he complained and showed her his tongue. A grin appeared on her face. She had many conversations with him in the past and it seemed like her lessons were giving him some backbone. "Don't call me bitch, Pussy. Better go and cut your hair before Mihiko confuses you for a girl again." "HEY!" "You go and make ya face prettier. Ya scare the animals away." he shouted back and smirked. "Oh just you wait!" she shrieked and started to run after him. He started to shout loudly while she tried to get her hands on him, but suddenly he connected with a hard body. All laugher and cheering for the two died down.

Somebody from the village.

Jyu-ichi had learned quite fast that they hated the children from the hut by the forest. In their eyes the children were stealing all the animals from the forest, all the firewood and the fish from the river. The village was poor so it was no wonder that these two groups often clashed.

The orphans tried to ignore them as best as possible while some adults ruined their garden or threw stones against their hut.

"You." the man growled and glanced at the scared boy. "Watch where ya going, slime." he said and stepped forward. Immediately Miyuki stepped protective in front of him. "Don't ya dare touchin' one of mah siblin's ya fatass!" she growled and clenched her her hands into fists. The man slapped her, but she did not stop glaring at him. "Is that all ya got? Fuckin' pussy!" The man slapped her again – her lip already bleeding, but it did not stop her. "Pussy man." He slapped her again and she smirked. He did not know what to do with her. She was not scared.

"You... you..." he turned around and strode off – he would only give her what she wanted.

"Mi..." the boy tried once the man was gone, but she interrupted him.

"Shut up!" she barked. "Bu..." "I told you to shut up!" she shrieked, turned around and slapped him. With hurtful eyes he looked up at her while holding his burning cheek. "Get some balls." she whispered and strode off.

Nobody said anything as they stood up and walked after her. He waited until the sun was down before following them.

–

Softly he knocked on the door.

"If ya are Pussy ya can leave again."

Sadly he hung his head and sighed. He tried again.

"Go and cry."

He bit his lower lip and was about the leave when he noticed that she probably wanted him to enter anyway.

Jyu-ichi turned back to the door, swallowed and opened it. He dodged the puppet which was thrown his way and closed it after him. She was sitting on the right side of her bed, feet placed against the floor and looked outside in the dark night.

"I told you to go." she growled. He stepped closer. She sighed and looked up at him. "What do you want?"

"I..." he played with the end of his sash nervously. "I..." "Stop that!" she complained and slapped his hands away. He looked on the floor.

She sighed and rubbed her forehead before petting the place next to her. "Sit down." He did so immediately. She looked out of her window for some time longer before glancing down at his bowed head.

"You said you want to get stronger." she started softly and he looked up at her. "But you will never manage that if you don't put your feelings under control." She noticed his confused look and cliqued her tongue. "The man today was by far stronger." He nodded. "But he left. He did not know what to do in the end." She sighed and scratched the back of her head. "You know best that life can be tough. But you will never manage to come far if you don't learn to swallow it down. Ya understand?" He shook his head. She placed a palm on his cheek and stroked a thumb over it. "You are so sweet." she whispered. "And I don't doubt that you will become very strong. I can see it in you." She wetted her lips. "But you show far too much on your face. Don't get me wrong. Everybody needs some certain someones, who they can tell some things which are going on inside them or even a special one who they can tell everything." She petted his hair. "Nobody else should know though. If you let them all see who you really are or how you are feeling they will see all your weak spots. You have to show them somebody they fear and respect. You are alone in this world, you have to cry alone, but in order to beat them all you must never show them."

He swallowed – hanging on her every word. "Do you understand?" Slowly he nodded. "Yes." he chocked out. She smiled sadly and kisses his forehead. "I know ya'll manage. I have a good feeling about you." He took in a shaky breath. "Now go to sleep." she said and stood up. He did too and looked up at her. "Thank you." he said softly. She grinned down at him and ruffled his hair. "Is ok. Gotta watch after my little bro after all." He nodded and smirked back. "Night!" he chirped and left the room.

She watched the door and sighed. He'll manage.

Carefully he slid into their room and laid down next to Mihiko, who immediately wrapped his arms around the smaller one and sighed contently.

The blackhaired close his eyes.

Miyuki was right.

–

Lately they had been having many problems with the village people. Hikari was still out cold after she had been attacked while Mihiko was fuming, Eiichiro balled his small hands into fists and swore revenge and Miyuki was plotting their demise.

"I can't understand them." their leader barked while pacing up and down in their kitchen. "We have done nothing!" "But exist." came Akito's smooth voice next from Jyu-ichi. The small boy looked up into his stern face. "We should move." "Run away?" Miyuki shrieked and slammed her fists on the table. "We will never run!" "But Miyuki." Kyoko said softly and sat down next to Akito. "They are more and they are stronger." "Their attacks won't stop." continued Akito. "You see what they did with Hikari. Do you want one of us killed next time?" Immediately Miyuki stepped back and took a deep breath. "No" she said defeated. "But we..." Yuna started. "...don't wanna move." Takeshi finished – both looking at the older ones sadly. "We won't leave." Mihiko said angrily and growled – placing himself on the other side of Jyu-ichi. "We are no cowards."

"We are not." Akito agreed and looked at the other one coldly – calming him a little. "But even if you manage to defend yourself. Who looks after the younger ones?" "I will punch the evil people." Eiichiro chirped up innocently. "And I'll protect my Jyu-chan." "I... I don't need protection." he reminded Mihiko blushing. "Hush. I already told you how it works."

Akito sighed and rubbed his forehead. "And Hikari? Who protected her?" Nine faces turned to the floor. "We can't be everywhere all the time. At one point they will get us. Don't get me wrong. I hate running away just as much as you do." He balled his hand into a first and growled. "I could kill them all for their ignorance. For hurting Hikari. But it has to be done."

"And then what?" asked Miyuki calmly. They had never seen her so tired as she sat down and fixed Akito with an analysing stare. "Do you really think the other villages would welcome us with open arms?" Akito swallowed nervously. Kyoko wiped her nose. "We could hide in the woods?" she tried. "Where we have no shelter? Gotta be fun during the winter." Miyuki snorted sarcastically. "And wherever there is water and wood there are village people." She rubbed her forehead. "We will always stay outcasts." "What else should we do then?" the oldest boy chocked out. "Let them kill us?" Their leader shook her head. "No. You are right. We have to leave." She fixed them all with a stern face. "But don't expect the others to like you either."

–

One week after that, once Hikari was able to walk again, they started to pack. It did not take them long to collect all their belongings, but they were in a hurry anyway.

Jyu-ichi sighed and looked out of the broken window of their shared bedroom. "Everything gonna be aright." Mihiko tried to lighten the mood as he heard the sound. "Yah, I know." he agreed and pushed the box, containing the bells, in his sash while gripping his long sword.

They didn't get far – just outside their cottage they were waiting for them.

"What?" Miyuki growled and took a step forward. "You don't have to bother with us any more – so let us leave."

"The hell we will! One of you little rats slaughtered Kudo's pigs!"

The girl shook her head. "No! We never touched anything that belongs to you."

"You did! The animals in the forest also belong to us! We are sick of starving just because you fools have to eat what is ours."

"They are not yours." Akito's cold voice spoke up as the boy stepped next to Miyuki. "We all have the right to hunt there."

"No!" another man shouted angrily. "And you never again will do so."

And suddenly they had their weapons drawn and run up to them.

Fear stroke them all and even brave Miyuki stepped back. To no vain – the wave of people hit them full on.

The boy did not know where the others were. Suddenly he was surrounded – parted from his family – and unsheathed his sword – blocking an attack. He bit his lip and started to counter attack – ignoring the hits the people delivered. Why wasn't he stronger? He could hear little Hikari screaming in the background, could hear Mihiko promising revenge – fear had an ice cold grip on him. Only five people were around him – yet he couldn't even take one down. Why was he once more so utterly useless?

"_Weakling."_

Tears were collecting in the corners of his eyes when somebody suddenly hit the back of his head. He let out a groan and fell on the ground as everything turned black.

"_Weakling."_

Something was tickling his nose – slowly waking him up. "Mhm~ stop it Hikari. I wanna sleep." he muttered, but the tickling continued. He groaned and opened his eyes – seeing grass in front of him. Grass? He let out another groan. And why was his head splitting into two? Slowly he sat up, rubbed his face and glanced around.

His breath hitched.

His home was almost completely burned down – flames still licking wood here and there. And right next to him were his siblings – covered in blood.

Slowly he crawled over to the first form – Mihiko. He bit back a sob as he saw the long gash at his neck – his whole face and upper body covered in blood – the black orbs looking lifeless up at him. Why did this have to happen? The boy never meant anything bad. He only lived to protect and... and had to meet such an end.

Not being able to stare at his friend any longer he moved on to the next one. His tears ran down freely once he arrived next to Miyuki. He was not used to her being so calm – not even when she was sleeping. He crawled his fingers into his kimono and cried. Tears running down his cheek – falling onto his small hands.

"I knew you would survive."

His eyes widened and he looked down at the older girl. Her eyes were dazed and she was smiling up weakly at him. She lifted her hand shakily and touched his cheek; brushing away the tears which were still flowing. "Don't cry anymore." she whispered. "B...but I don't wanna live. I wanna die with you." he chocked out. "Don't say that." she replied and stroked over the scar on his face. "It is not your time. You still have a purpose in life." He shook his head. "No. I don't wanna be lonely anymore." She chuckled softy. "You still have so much ahead of you. You don't know yet what's going to happen." She coughed – a shake running through her weakened form. "Don't let everybody see who you are or how you feel." She took in a deep breath. "Don't let them hurt you. Hold your head high and..." Miyuki coughed some more. "And take one step after the other." She continued to smile up at him, brushed once more over his scar before letting her hand fall down next to herself. "You... will become something... great." She breathed out before closing her eyes. "N...no." he shook his head. "Please no. Don't leave me alone." he cried out and fell forward onto her – hugging the lifeless body close. "Don't leave me. Don't leave me. Don't leave me. Please don't leave me." he repeated over and over – crying himself to sleep.

He was standing at the edge of their burnt down home – watching the fire lick on the bodies of his dead siblings. After he awoke he checked on the others, only to notice that they were indeed dead too. He pulled them all over to their house – where their kitchen was; laid them down in line and started the fire newly. The smell was horrible and the memories of them painful, but his tears had run dry. Once their corpses were not recognizable anymore he made sure his bells were in the sash, picked up his long sword and continued on his way – disappearing in the forest.

On this fateful day elven children lost their lives. Brave Miyuki, caring Kyoko, wise Akito, playful Yuna and Takeshi, sweet Yukari, protective Mihiko, innocent Hikari, heroic Eiichiro and spineless Jyu-ichi.


End file.
